Black Balloon
by Shinigami Hilde
Summary: Explaining away Inuyasha and Kikyou's relationship is not an easy feat, however the Goo Goo Doll's song Black Balloon does it nicely I think.


_Black Balloon_

By: Shinigami Hilde

Disclaimer: I don't own them, so what? I can still play with them.

A/N: The song belongs to the "Goo Goo Dolls" off their album "_Dizzy Up the Girl_"

"_Baby's black balloon makes her fly  
I almost fell into that hole in your life  
And you're not thinking 'bout tomorrow  
'Cause you were the same as me  
But on your knees "_

Kikyou was just another one to him at first. Just another nuisance to add to the growing bunch, except she had one special trait that kept him after her for a time.

She protected the Shikon no Tama.

If he could just get it and use it to become a full youkai, all his problems might just very well be solved. It had seemed simple enough to just take it from her, but there was one little over sight he hadn't anticipated: the woman, no, the miko Kikyou, for she said she could not act human, would catch his cold heart with the sad look in her dark eyes and warm it; melting a bit of the ice.

She had said they were the same…neither thought about tomorrow, neither could be what they wanted…They both carried a hole in their lives. She could not be a woman for she protected the Shikon no Tama, he could not be a man nor a youkai because he was born a hanyou. He had thought on this and had agreed to try to fill it up by becoming human for her by use of the tama.

"_A thousand other boys could never reach you  
How could I have been the one?  
I saw the world spin beneath you  
And scatter like ice from the spoon  
That was your world "_

Sadly those holes would be their downfalls. And he had never seen it coming. Neither had she, but with a vindictive man who lusted for the miko and the addition of hundreds of wicked youkai to his body-a couple of single cruel actions by this man and the world Kikyou had wished for was shattered.

Who knew how many village boys had wanted Kikyou but couldn't have her. Who knew how many youkai were out after her head, her blood but could never touch her. He often wondered before it all went bad-how he had come to touch the young girl's life. How come she hadn't chosen someone else? Why him? But of course, she had answered this question. Sadly it wasn't enough and it still led ultimately to a subtle distrust that would prove to be their undoing.

The weeks rolled by, and it came down to a day where Kikyou offered the Shikon no Tama to make him human. He agreed, and that was the day it all fell; Naraku was born.

Naraku took it upon himself to set out and defile the jewel with the loathing hate of the one who protected it-and used his form against her, and then vice versa.

"_Comin' down the world turned over  
And angels fall without you there  
And I go on as you get colder  
Or are you someone's prayer" _

Now she was dead. And he supposedly was too. Pinned to a tree for fifty some odd years, never aging, never breathing but dreaming. Always dreaming.

No one knew what he dreamt, what he saw in his mind, but something clicked. Something called out, something cried out for redemption-a helping hand, a loving heart-for a girl who shouldn't have even been in his time, but she came anyway. Came and set him free.

"_You know the lies they always told you  
And the love you never knew  
What's the things they never showed you  
That swallow the light from the sun  
Inside your room, yeah"_

The helping hand would be a blessing-and a curse. For she was of that same miko who had won his eyes all but fifty years ago. Kikyou would come to be resurrected-and this new girl, Kagome, would be everything Kikyou was not, have everything Kikyou had not. He would take Kagome as a fallen angel and learn to live, to love, to survive all over again, while the resurrected Kikyou would become more and more bitter and cold with her soulless shell.

Kikyou's malice became the bearing of her body. She made attempts to ease her fragmented soul by ending her resurrection through dragging him back with her to hell…But the blessing-girl, the cursed-one, the fallen angel kept her at bay with her call…He didn't know what to do with any of this, however soon Naraku made his headway back into the picture-and there was no more time to dispute the triangle.

"_Comin' down the world turned over  
And angels fall without you there  
And I go on as you get colder  
Always someone _

_And there's no time left for losin'  
When you stand they fall "_

But even with Naraku back, he continued to learn to love and live…And Kikyou continued to grow further and further away…He still cared for her, but not in the same way. He wanted to lay her to rest, to end her tiresome journey, but he didn't want to go with her. He wasn't dead. He was alive. He knew how to actually love, his hole had been filled where hers had continued to widen. Yet as she was still walking, an empty husk of a person among the living, he knew that his non-trust had been the cause to her end…So she hindered him opening completely. She was walking guilt for him.

Now he searches for a way to end Naraku, and finally lay his first Miko to rest…But he may have to become guilt himself to do it…For she lay upon him a heavy heart and a guilty conscience that refuses to let him free.

And she still walks cold.

"_Comin' down the world turned over  
And angels fall without you there  
And I go on as you get colder  
All because I'm  
Comin' down the years turn over  
And angels fall without you there  
And I'll go on to bring you home and  
All because I'm  
All because I'm  
And I'll become  
What you became to me"_

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Owari


End file.
